Thank you for stopping by. A couple of years ago I published a limited edition 22-card Major's only deck called Quel Tarot, and many years since its inception, I have finally completed all 78 cards for a new edition.
Thank you for all of your kind support through the years!
Please send me an e-mail with any comments.
12 August 2023
I just finished making the Quel website "responsive" and mobile-friendly. During this process, I encountered a counterfeit deck, which compelled me to only showcase three cards per suit at a lower resolution. On a positive note, I incorporated artificial intelligence to select and interpret those three cards, which will also be used for my upcoming Youtube channel and first video - "Quel vs AI." Be sure to stay tuned for more updates and exciting content.
Somehow I can't believe that three years have passed since I last updated this site! I found out that folks using mobile phones can't access Quel-tarot.com, so I've been working on making this site "responsive." Whew. I'm also focusing more on readings and have added readings via video and zoom. I still go back from time to time to see about editing a few cards. What-ch-ya-all think? Send me an e-mail and let me know which cards you'd like to see revamped!
Black Lives Matter. And, I've updated five cards since October. Not too surprisingly, I changed-up the Tower card about a week before Covid-19 lock downs in the US and the recent revolution. The altercations occur in The Moon, The Empress, the three of cups and the ace of swords. Please stay safe and be well. Feel free to send me an e-mail with any suggestions. Happy Indigenous People's Day! I feel so blessed to finally
have completed Quel! Wow, four years since my last post? I've been
working off and on now for the past few years and got a kick-start
this summer. I must've re-edited about 20 of the cards and am finally
happy with the result. Thank you all for your kind support, and
I hope you enjoy.
While spending hours looking for a specific image to use on this web-page, I found many images which I intended to use for Quel, but for whatever reason didn't!
I finally re-sized the images, named them consistently and put them in a logically named folder (something I've been meaning to do for years).
Some of these images brought back intense memories for me.For example, I created this particular version of XXI The World on March 12, 2011. During readings from the prior week, I pulled card XVI The Tower and card XXI The World simultaneously on more than one occasion (these cards are huge when they appear alone--let alone together and more than once in a week to boot). On March 11, we witnessed devastating world events, and my Aunt Sharon passed away (to honor her, I put her image in this version of the card).
As a side-note, last week, I also pulled card XVI The Tower and card XXI The World simultaneously on two separate occasions. Based on past experience, I knew to brace myself for a possible earth-shattering event. Currently, the folks in Nepal are suffering greatly from a devastating earthquake. My heart goes out to those suffering. Blessings and prayers to everybody who has been affected.
Besides the four images I posted a couple of days ago, and images which I posted as updates (Ace of Pentacles and Seven of Swords), here are some of my favorite unused images. They are: III The Empress, IV The Emperor, XVIII The Moon, XXI The World, Ace of Swords (versions two and three), the Two of Swords and the Six of Pentacles. Additionally, I included a draft inspired by a dream I had and one of David H. Heusinkveld's amazing nature photos in Amana, IA (beautifuliowa.net). The dream occurred sometime while working on my first version of the two of swords and seven of swords--I never used it, the image that is!
A few of my favorite unused images:
I'm taking both an on-line Photoshop class and a Dreamweaver class at Kent State University. What a perfect time to start working on Quel again. For this class, I'm using Adobe Dreamweaver (instead of NVU) in order to create queltarot.com, and I'm using Adobe Photoshop (instead of Corel Photopaint) to edit some of the images. I'm currently in the process of putting up the website and updating cards. Thanks for stopping by.
29 March 2015I bought a new harddrive, downloaded and installed an operating system and some programs to work with it! Ready to continue on with Quel.
21 March 2015I LOST all of my redraws and updates from November 2014-March 21 2015 (backups, backups, backups), but luckily I posted the redos of Death, Devil and Wheel on Facebook and at least have recovered semi-high resolution .jpg versions!
2 or 5 or something like that February 2015I've been working on my tarot deck again for the first time in about a YEAR! Redrew the Wheel, Devil and Death - um, if that were a reading?!?! Yikes. Thanks tarot folks for recently coming up on my Facebook right side-bar and hence inspiring me! I imagine these images had something to do with being at Trinity Catholic Worker House and going to "Tent City" the last couple of weeks. Here are original images and the redrawn images (including I The Magician--which I changed two years ago)! Any votes?!?!
So far, including I The Magician, I have changed FOUR cards since the 22-card majors only limited edition printing. I'm also contemplating changing the XII Hanged Man. In January 2015, I actually created a new image for that card, but I lost it during the great-hard-drive crash of March, 2015. . .
X The Wheel of Fortune original card and redrawn
XIII Death original card and redrawn
XV The Devil initial card and redone
I The Magician original card and redrawn
I started this card at the Vision Quest fair in London, Ontario and would like to extend gratitude for the hospitality and kindness extended to me by the organizers and everyone involved! Also, I've become a "chat adviser" And now.....drum roll...for the eight of pentacles! Work away! Go Olympians and courageous human rights activists!
Eight of Pentacles
I don't really know what to say about this, except that I worked on it for a really long time and finally ran it through the Photoshop "poster" filter. Adam and Eve from fossil fuels?
Ten of Pentacles
All of the knights are very close and related to the six of wands. They are really the six of pentacles' offspring, adopted by the queens and kings (except for the knight of swords - Archangel Michael is kind of independently stubborn...and Italian).
The "knight" quickly runs by protesters/workers from the Bible (taken from the six of pentacles), who hold a sign from psalm 107:4-6: "Some wandered in desert wastelands, finding no way to a city where they could settle. They were hungry and thirsty, and their lives ebbed away. Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,and he delivered them from their distress."
Knight of Wands
Moving right along. Perfect timing I think; he's protesting the Keystone Pipeline, in spirit, because he's busy being the Emperor of Quel. Last night, with four cards to go (well, at least draft), I pulled a computer-generated tarot image for each remaining card. In response to asking about the six of wands, I pulled the Emperor! I guess he wanted to take part in the victory march! Who am I to deny this peaceful request? Unfortunately, when my older computer crashed, I lost my reference list and did not make backups; I do not immediately know from which illuminated manuscripts the protesters and their fearless leader Moses come (bearing gifts for all, I presume)! Whenever I come close to completing a card, I ask my "Power Tarot" computer generator "Yay?" I clicked on the "Knight of Wands. . ." which happens to be closely related to this card. It's also the card I've been working on in conjunction with this one!
Both are take-offs from my six of pentacles, which is a pivotal gateway for me. . .
Six of Wands
I made about 20 different versions of the ten of cups starting on June 21st when I attended a gay wedding. This week two people in the Merging Hearts community passed away. Unfortunately, I never got the chance to meet either in the flesh. In any case, this is for them. Memoirs of Jacque are also included via bits and strips and such.
Jessica's pretty-in-pink cat and Pazzy both make appearances on top of the world (as layers brought down to 0%)! Hopefully you can still feel their loving spirits.
Ten of Cups
Tomorrow marks Martin Luther King Day. To celebrate, I've been listening to his speeches on Youtube all day and working on the Knight of Pentacles.
Ancient Mother, I Hear You Calling. . .Ancient Mother, I Hear Your Song. . .Ancient Mother, I Hear Your Laughter. . .Ancient Mother, I Taste Your Tears.
Knight of Pentacles
I'm on a roll! I'm still under the impression that we are under the sign of Pisces. Noah's 2222nd son's begging to come out as the Knight of Cups. Who am I to deny him this privilege? Noah's tablet on the roof was transcribed by Edgar Cayce while in the spirit (I made that up, the part where Edgar transcribed it for Noah).
It says: "In the hours of darkness, that which lightens the heart to gladness, that which brings relief to the sufferer, that which makes for patience with the wayward, that which enables those which are hungry, in body and mind to be fed upon the bread of life that they may drink deep of the water of life, through thy efforts."
Knight of Cups
Welcome New Year. It's been a while. A long while. I've been hibernating. Wanting an escape--to Canada. I just entered a psychic fair in London, Ontario at the end of this month. In order to celebrate a new mode of being, I decided to finish up some cards I started long, long ago. For prosperity manifestation, the King of Pentacles.
For acknowledgment of my indulgent behaviors now that the Healthy Wage contest is finally over, the nine of cups.
I just noticed that Capricorn's coming to a close, so the King of Pentacles is perfect. For some reason I thought we're beginning Pisces, but I was wrong. Need to hibernate some more. I also just noticed that the nine of cups looks very disturbing.
King of Pentacles
Nine of Cups
Whow. Where to begin? Why not leave it to the page of pentacles? I tried to turn him/her right side up after pulling it upside down. I did go through a past life regression today at the Seek the Light psychic fair. Apparently in 1235 (in my dream-state I noticed 1234 seemed contrived and silly, so I changed the year to 1235) I lived in Nicaragua as a native 15 year old boy and hopelessly watched my people spear a dolphin as a sacrifice. Did they have dolphins back then?
Walela's singing "bright morning stars are rising" now on Pandora, so it must be true.
Page of Pentacles
The seven of pentacles felt much less painful for me than the six of cups! I pulled both the seven of pentacles and page of pentacles reversed yesterday. So, I thought I'd focus on a little "desire" list for myself. . .
As I'm upstairs working on the seven of pentacles, I'm hearing all kinds of expletives from downstairs. . .Grandma's working on my all-time favorite "holy shirt," which "needs to be throwed away!" Oh Bless her. I felt badly about neglecting her and gave her a project! Now she's yelling at me:
"Don't you have any other tops! It's NOTHING BUT HOLES!" But that's not on my planted intention list - a new shirt, that is.
Seven of Pentacles
I had a difficult time with this one. For the past two months, I've been in my hometown proposing to take care of my elderly grandmother (see the two of wands), but in all honesty I think I'm really here trying to reconcile with my childhood self.
And here we are, in mercury retrograde. A month later. . .Actually, this card started working me during the last retrograde in July as an attempted ten of cups!
Six of Cups
Amen.
Ten of Wands
Time to stop being depressed about the dang oil refinery downwind from my house-and the nearby deep injection well-and well. . .move on to the ten. . .
Nine of Wands
I just moved back to my hometown in North East Ohio after 12 years and am so incredibly homesick for the land which once was. I'm at a point where the marcellus shale ends and utica begins, or vice versa and am feeling very split as to how to respond, think or feel. So in this two of wands, he's fracking for energy. . .
Two of Wands
Whew! It's been a long two months. July was one long blur of a day, August flew on by, and just as I settled into my new home in September, it's the Queinox - or Equinox, whichever sounds better! The International Day of Peace officially ended five minutes ago. Now it's time to settle in to the full-bloom harvest moon and wait for our intentions to be heard by the universe...just in time for the equinox (Halina and Jacquita Bonita's birthdays as well).
What would I like to manifest? Balance and harmony of the threes....The wisdom of the dolphin...release from the tension of the two.
Freedom to trust that our intentions have been heard by the universe.
As I read about creation stories and Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth," I'd like to extend gratitude to Merging Hearts for providing a warm, loving space of peace. Inner Traditions
Three of Wands
This past week, I've been working with the six of pentacles tarot card as I help a friend transition from his home to assisted living. Frustrated, and having a very difficult time expressing what portion of myself this card shows me, I am finding that in my story, the six of pentacles is one of the most (if not the most) important cards in the deck, that card which appears to those in need after a time of crisis.
"In the hours of darkness that which lightens the heart to gladness, that which brings relief to the sufferer, that which makes for patience with the wayward, that which enables those that are hungry in body and mind to be fed upon by the bread of life, that they may drink deep of the water of life, through thy efforts..." That is...Edgar (Cayce, reading 518-2).
Pentacles represent material/concrete manifestations of dreams and stories created by us. They are our spirit, thoughts and emotions made tangible. In order to better explain the six of pentacles, I'd like to revisit the turning point of the five of pentacles. Fives suggest change and impermanence. In a numeric system of one - ten, five falls smack-dab in the middle... a crucial stage, a turning point, a crisis. Fives represent that "stage at which the trend of all future events, especially for better or for worse, is determined."
I am currently at a turning point. As a society, we are currently at a turning point. Because of the instability of five, it can be a period of great distress. Fives show up during seemingly dark and trying times - times in which we are to decide a course of action for our lives. From what science (and my own frame of mind) tells me, our physical bodies like to maintain a state of homeostasis (just look at the constancy of our glucose levels, the ph of our blood, our body temperatures). We create various systems: political, religious, social or otherwise in the hopes of maintaining equilibrium. A state of dis-ease occurs when we are out of balance.
This is where six comes in. In tarot, sixes bring balance, stability, harmony and calm after a turning point. The sixes are the trees which ground and root us, so how we tell the story of the six can either enable the "five moments" to continue in distress, or it can enable the five to find balance and happiness, thus growing toward the other cards. The stories told between these two cards can either free a person or lead him or her to slavery.
With what do we choose to root ourselves? Something which brings joy and happiness? A "higher power?" What is that higher power? A deity? An authority figure? A form of religion? A merchant? Charity? And what is the purpose of charity? To aid victims? Victims by whom?
This is such an expansive card and so many of our current paradigms are based upon it's perceived meaning. Rachel Pollock says "on the surface, the six of pentacles illustrates the idea of sharing, generosity, charity." What exactly is charitable, and for whom does "charity" benefit? In Rider-Waite-Smith's version (and how many of our systems operate), this sharing appears in the form of a hierarchy, where one person dominates others. Unfortunately, this form of "charity" often sets the stage for oppression (unconsciously or not), creating victims and thus continues the cycle of a need for charity. It can lead to a more pronounced state of instability.
Again, what or who is that higher power from which/whom we gain assistance or help, that balance with which to move on? A "merchant in disguise," a religious figure, such as Christ? What happens when the "merchant" has other interests at heart? What if the church doors are locked? What happens when Christ is busy chasing after Mary? To whom do we turn?
Carol Burnett, along with guest-star Emmett Kelly, performed one of the most enchanting and touching moments I've ever seen on TV in the skit "Charwoman at the Circus." For me, and where I'd like my story to go, this skit contains the perfect "remedy" for hardships during times of distress: While sweeping floors, the charwoman enters a fantasy-world performing at a circus to an imaginary crowd. A decrepit clown claps in appreciation. Both appear to be in a state of hardship and distress. The clown offers gifts and talents to the best of his ability: handing over a flower (representing kindness, compassion, gentleness, pleasure, beauty, and gain - perfection and spirituality), attempting to entertain with a feather (ease, comfort, warmth, gains, lightheartedness and enjoyment for life), and juggling. Displeased with his gifts and desperate for joy, he looks to the ground and realizes they stand in a circle of light. With the broom (resolution of past issues), he gathers the light, and both he and the charwoman kneel to the floor. From within the shadow, the clown picks up the light and hands it to the charwoman, who then puts it into her pocket, carries it with her and offers the clown her gift of song. Nothing but memories of the actual performance and reruns of the footage itself can do "Charwoman at the Circus" justice.
So please forgive any inadequacies in my explanation. That moment when the decrepit clown passes his light from within the shadow, thus permitting the Charwoman to offer her gifts, is my hope for the six of pentacles in my own personal story. I hope for a story where people walk together in times of difficulty and overcome together. Sharing our gifts and talents, whatever they may be, in sickness and in health, leads to the abundance of the later cards.
As I continue work on the six of pentacles portion of my story, it's apparent that each card (this one in particular) contains elements of every other. Regarding "Charwoman at the Circus", the dreamy, reminiscent feeling seems like a six of cups moment but more concrete, perhaps the six of pentacups. The six of pentacles provides comfort to the five of pentacles in a moment of Strength and its Death.
It contains the hopes and dreams of the page of cups and the celebration of the four of wands. This is the five's "six of wands" victory moment.
It's the Tower - what Independence Day is all about. With it, we can trust and rest in the seven of pentacles. Whether or not I use this version for "Quel," from this card, three new cards have emerged, including a remake of the king of swords (King Miya transformed into King Moses). I have also gained a better appreciation for Psalm 107. There is much more to this story (what's going on in this card?).
For those who don't know tarot, the six of pentacles is Life's Work.
6 of Pentacles
With the five of wands, it seems as though each person has separate wishes, desires and spiritual needs, which may conflict with the needs of the whole - sometimes creating a bit of a mess. We still eat from the tree of knowledge, I'm ready to learn how to eat from the tree of life! In the meantime, we have to figure out how to raise that tent together. Welcome to Mercury Retrograde.
Five of Wands
Beth Seilonen's beautiful Marseille deck inspired me to re-examine Marseille tarots. So I dug up Jean Noblet Marseille by Jean-Claude Flornoy. The six and eight of batons informed me that that the seven of wands has gone astray.
Perhaps she's somewhere between the four and five of cups, or maybe she ran off with the seven of swords. I'm still hoping for a safe return. Blessed are those who help me find my batons. In memorandum, I spent hours trying to weave sticks into that perfect configuration.
Jean-Claude was so kind to me when I fumbled to buy one of my first decks off of him in 2008; I didn't realize he had passed away until recently-as I'm typing. Hopefully he approves of the rendition. It looks something like this, but not really. We both used the color red. His reconstructions are divine -mesmerizing, simplistic.
Quel's is much more of a mess. On my own, I don't posses that delicate balance required to keep the wands so perfectly stabilized. That's why I need the Godspeed of the eight, but that's more of an Easter story, so onward with the the five, coming up next!
Seven of Wands
For me the four of cups is that place between temperance and death, where the moon shines halfway from behind an eclipse. It goes backward in time, remembering the three of cups with some judgment. The four of swords dreams about the fourth cup when mercury reverses itself. With fours being stable and cups wanting to flow, there's a bit of conflict and cloudlike confusion within that hypnagogic state - a crossroads between waking and dreaming and a period of downright huh?
I have been playing around with Lenormand cards recently, and this past "game" felt really sad, but for whatever reason, I wanted to use those five cards for four of cups. I've noticed that one tarot card can be expressed very well via five Lenormand cards, but that's a whole new ballgame, so please trust that there are a bunch of Lenormand cards within the four of cups.
Last night I had a dream clarifying the issue a bit more. In the three of cups, people celebrate and have a good time. With the four of cups, I usually see the ending of that celebration, but what if the celebration is still going on; someone who wants to be there can't, and we're getting that viewpoint. What if it's that moment where St. John gets thrown to the island of Patmos? Or anyone who feels exiled?
Four of Cups
I've just been feeling so cuppy lately! Dreamy, my compassion strings being pulled. In this light, the Queen of Cups.
Queen of Cups
A Lenormand reading (with Nefer Khepri's absolutely amazing deck, the Egyptian Lenormand) inspired Quel Tarot's two of cups card. I pulled the cards "Lily+clover+ring+sacred cow+flowers" with regard to the best action to take regarding a dog's health. The answer provided me with a great two of cups moment!
All five Lenormand symbols appear in there somewhere. . .Two sacred cows gaze longingly at one another buried deep within the lilies at the bottom. I know. . .I know, Lenormand and Tarot are two separate systems, but I couldn't resist!
My close friend/ex-partner just got an invitation to a friend's wedding and asked for my incomplete deck as a gift, but I couldn't print off a wedding deck without this important partnership card! Unfortunately, the wedding's the 21st and turnaround print time is seven-ten days. So I had to put this together in two days :-) Enjoy!
Two of Cups
I'm happy to announce that this knight completes the swords for Quel, which seems to be fitting for Memorial Day and to kick- off packing for my move. Guido Reni kindly painted Archangel Michael for me in 1636 (it's readily available on the internet and also graces the cover of Elaine Pagel's Revelations: Visions, Prophecy, and Politics in the Book of Revelations).
The horse is from Getty Apocalypse Manuscript, and I'm very sorry--at the moment I can't find the book for a reference, but will as I pack! There's some Edgar Cayce thrown in there, New Testament, some prisma-colored angels, encostics (wax and an iron - from my first attempt), my coloboma...obsession over the Book of Revelation, what else?
Oh, interesting synchronicities on my Pandora Radio station: last night as I closed Photo-paint before heading to bed, I got ready to pull a card asking my higher power(s): "What do you think of my progress on this knight?"
Pandora played the lyrics "goodnight my angel of the dark," and the title of that song happens to be "dreams of leaving" (I will start packing as soon as I post this). When I finished about a half hour ago, Pandora played "Sing choir of angels. . ." (yes, I admit, I listen to Christmas music throughout the year), and a pop-song is playing now "Come on get higher - I see angels and devils and God. . ."
April 28, 2015: As I'm editing this, ANOTHER synchronicity: "Come on Get Higher" is playing on Pandora as I edit this!! And, I'm at another transition state. "Drown me, drown me in love. Everything works. . .Everything works"
So I'll stop with that!
Knight of Swords
This happy page is Forrest Heusinkveld as a boy! He's saying a Spirited Lakota prayer for his deceased brother, Jordan.
Page of Wands
Oh so scary Page of Swords singing "The itsy bitsy spider!"
Page of Swords
I'm morphing into my dad more and more everyday. This afternoon I went out on my bicycle, and a police officer pulled me over. I was prepared to tell him I couldn't find my helmet. He had something else in mind. "Excuse me." "Yes, officer?" "You might want to pull up your pants."
If I would have known, I would've told him that the full-moon eclipse in Scorpio reveals past lives. My dad's a plumber. The image started from The Getty Apocalypse Manuscript folio 1 verso (and the silly beast is from f.23.v.). The monk painted the image as a soldier sending St. John to Patmos, but after this afternoon (and in honor of the eclipse of the full moon) I drew it as Paul (with my dad's beard) trying to tell Jesus about the mishap.
And that's my sister, Kim, pushing me on Donald Duck. She kept accidentally flipping me backwards - my dad kept taping.
Seven of Swords
I finally finished the two of swords. I wish it were the two of cups. Maybe some day.
Two of Swords
There's poison in the bluff...In the spirit of the seven of swords, I traced the white from a book, initially believing Jesus runs on water from the Apostles. It's really St John running from the Adam.
Seven of Swords
After a year of dominating swords, I've been contemplating moving but can't decide between the Raleigh-Durham, NC area or Santa Fe, NM. I went to the library yesterday to get some books for Tarot inspiration. On a whim before checking out, I stopped by the video section and grabbed the first movie which caught my eye: "Tao of Steve." I liked the title, and the cover is simply a picture of Donal Logue standing in front of an orange background, possibly a stand-up comedy routine. And for the opening scene - a green road sign which says "Santa Fe," where the entire movie is based and centered upon.
Just so happens, one of the film's images of a hot spring appeared in my dream the other night. So I thought "whow a sign?" Not so fast grasshopper. Duncan North wrote the movie - as in Duncan, North Carolina...part of the Raleigh-Durham area.
To complicate matters more, the sign to Santa Fe pointed East. That aside, one of my library books features illuminated manuscripts. Flipping through, I stumbled upon a Rabbula Codex of the ascension of Christ; Mother Mary takes center stage. In my opinion, the codex is not the most attractive in the book (containing some of the most beautiful images I have ever seen), but something said "use this for the Queen of Swords."
I scanned the page, cut out the Mary image and put it aside to work on after completing the seven of swords. While cleaning up my desktop, I noticed a scrapped image I had hung onto while working with the six of swords, two of swords and eight of wands, again, not very attractive, but something said "hold onto this."
I double clicked the image to see if I should finally toss it. Hm, this would work with the Mary image I just cut out. Very uncannily, not only does it work, but without moving, resizing, or editing of any kind, the dress of one of the apostles fit PERFECTLY in place with scroll I used as the background image, Mary's robe fit perfectly with the sword, and the halo around Mary fit PERFECTLY with the pentacle I used as a background image as well! I changed Mary to make her more sword-like. I'm still convinced I was a Byzantine scribe in the 6th century. My question of where to go if anywhere still hasn't been answered. Come on Ms. Swords, get to work, honestly and clearly!
Queen of Swords
Happy Easter! Happy April Fool's! Happy Three of cups! Three of cups hastily finished in honor of Easter and April Fool's Day! Today feels like a miracle. Today is so special for me. April Fool's is my Grandma Kolberg's favorite holiday. Without fail, every year, she would call "Quick! Look out your window! There's a white pony!" Every year, I would secretly hope to see one! I think a white pony secretly came for us too.... My sisters and I finally would say "no, Grandma....pause....it's yellow!" The color of happiness! My dad's birthday is tomorrow, perhaps that's why she liked the holiday so much! I'll work on the two of cups while thinking of him :-)
For the three of cups, I borrowed the three statues and two cups from images I found on the web. I was going to just use them as templates for a drafted layout - but I like it as is. Unless someone complains, I'll just leave it as is!
Three of cups
And just when you least expect it - GodSpeed... the Eight of Wands!
Eight of Wands
I can't see you I can't see you I can't see you! Oh, wait, yes I can. I forgot to put on the blindfold... Decisions decisions decisions. . .Transitions, transitions, transitions. . .unless I change my mind. I added the "blindfold." It took a few seconds.
Two of Swords
Five of Cups = Three of Swords + Two of Cups. I need to work on the Two of Cups part of the equation.
Five of Cups
When I moved to Berkeley in January, 2001, I became involved with a wonderful organization promoting community, well-being, healthy food, interesting people, did I say free Food. . .Not Bombs. Four years ago I moved to Iowa City, but I've remained a faithful ghost on the EastBay FNB listserv all these years; does knowing who's picking up the rice for Tuesday's Berkeley meal really serve me here in Iowa City? Begrudgingly. . .time. . . to release. . .the listserv. An unsubscribe button rests peacefully at the bottom of the page. I click.
"A confirmation letter has been sent." If only it were true. If only. Five times I've tried. Over five weeks, and 555 meals (the mark of the half beast). Tonight/this morning, I finally sent an all-to-public e-mail "somebody please help me unsubscribe," only to be bombarded with "did you try the bottom link?" Out of frustration, I replied back with the heading "YES! I'm not a d#$%f#$%," I HAVE tried to unsubscribe, MANY times. I just tried 55 seconds ago. Something is wrong with YOUR listserv." To prove my competence, I cut and pasted the promised confirmation promise, followed-up with "if only it were true. If only. . ."
Now remember my competence, and how I, uh, tried, many times. Years ago, I provided technical support for a computer company and remember all-to-well customers who blamed the "system" when the users created the errors themselves! I am certainly "not one of those!" Because I have unsuccessfully unsuscribed from the listserv, my post successfully came back to me, with the confirmation promise pasted in the body. . .glorifying my. . .incorrect e-mail address, the e-mail address which I had typed with my own 11 fingers.
Once again, I clicked the unsuscribe button at the bottom of the page, which took me to the server. As I started typing my e-mail address, the auto-filler jumped in with a list of. . .many versions of my. . . incorrect e-mail address. . .each with a. . .different typo. Yes. You most likely read this correctly.
I had Incorrectly typed in my own e-mail address. . .many times. . .with a different error every time. Unfortunately, now that I'm unsubscribed, I can't reply saying "or maybe I Am. . .
Ah for the 6 of swords to carry me away. . .from the painful humiliation and defeat of the dreaded Faive! Are we out of “Mercurey” Retrograde yet!?!?
Six of Swords
First and foremost, I can't express the grief I am feeling over the massacre in Connecticut this morning. My heart goes out to everyone. May all of our prayers be sent out and heard. Second, I am leaving my cushion job in a couple of weeks.
Although I believe this move to be best for my well-being, I none-the-less have concerns for my financial well-being. The nine of pentacles gives me comfort in knowing that if I maintain discipline, stay grounded and work to the best of my ability with guidance from my higher power, everything will be all right.
I completed the nine of pentacles this afternoon. Ten days ago I turned 41. Now is the time where I want to focus on my life's work, more-so than having a "job." For me, that implies appreciating the beauty that is me and surrounds me and finding expression in that beauty. My passion right now is finishing Quel Tarot!
The nine of pentacles reminds me to formulate a plan, and stick to my program until I reach my goal. As long as I live in harmony with nature and with God, I can find peace.
Nine of Pentacles
I got some feedback from the Tarot Deck Creator's to show the hand in my Queen of Pentacles. I revised her such that her hand is releasing a dove of peace in an act of generosity. She is offers abundance to the fullest.
Queen of Pentacles
Recently, I have been juggling many things at once, which brings my focus to the two of pentacles. In these last few weeks, I have continued working on Quel Tarot, and at the same time, I have decided to learn music! So, I bought myself a music book and a Ukulele. Along with the uke, I've been teaching myself piano off and on through Learn-piano-online. And then there's the balance between my family, writing, and my job. All of these bring me an immense amount of pleasure and joy. Truly a gift!
2 of Pentacles
These last couple of days have been particularly difficult for me. My partner and I have decided to split. A multitude of intense feelings hang over me, from confusion, to sadness, to guilt and sorrow and even worry. We both have made mistakes for which--at least I--am deeply sorry. Despite the pain I am currently feeling, I am grateful for the ability to feel and to deepen compassion for both myself and others.
Nine of Swords
My head spins. I feel as though I am trapped in a fog of mental agony. "It's all my fault," "I'm no good," "if only. . ." These thought patterns only serve to hold me down, mumimfy me. When I take a close look at myself and observe these thought patterns as they arise, without judgment, true healing happens. I realize that I am so much more. When I admit my faults and ask for help, I can break through the oppressive thoughts and become free.
Eight of Swords
I've recently made some positive changes in thinking patterns and have been attending Al-anon meetings for the last month. I "accidentally" attended an Overeaters Anonymous meeting to boot, which was just what I needed as well. These meetings allow me to express myself openly and honestly in a safe environment, and I'm very thankful for them! I've been involved in many "groups" in which I just sit and listen to everyone else speak, but I've finally found the courage to share my voice and my story and it feels good!
Ace of Swords
Welcome Spring! Actually, I appear to be behind the times, we're well into Spring now. Wow, I can't believe it's been over a month since I've created any cards! For whatever reason, I keep waking up to the song "Hold On" by Wilson-Phillips; the movie "Bridesmaids" has some influence, I'm sure. The Four of Pentacles is about holding on, not only to material possessions, but what nature gives us. It's also about bringing in that abundant earth energy. For "yes" people, sometimes the four of pentacles may seem like a difficult card, as it may appear to be a bit selfish when generous types like to give; however it's important to bring energy into oneself from time to time in order to achieve balance and stability after so much giving in the three of pentacles. On a personal note, I just took on another part-time job and am currently working seven days a week, leaving me little time to work on these cards.
Today, I decided to simply stay home and work on my own goals - such as this card. I "held on" to my goals and this is the result! The four of pentacles card, my friends, also marks the half-way point - I am now half-way finished with the second version of Quel Tarot (this version includes minor arcana as well as major arcana)! Talk about stability... Enjoy!
Four of Pentacles
I pulled the Ace of Wands three out of four times this week - well, not really, I use a computer-generated "Tarot Reader" which randomly generated the card for me. In all of Creation, I open myself up to new energy! These past few weeks, I've been reading/meditating on Edgar Cayce sayings and have been incorporating the sayings into my life/work (see the seven of cups). The purple ribbons at the bottom half of the card are from reading 1599-1: "Open thy heart, ye may open thyself to the opportunities that Constantly lie before thee in thy activities in the present. Life itself is an expression of the Creative Force."
And there you have it, a summary of the Ace of Wands from the beautiful Edgar Cayce. In addition, I updated my Ace of Pentacles to better match my other two completed Ace cards.
This Ace of Pentacles is based on a drawing I created in April, 2001 called "Hands of Grace." It was inspired by a "Nevada Desert Experience" annual Holy Week Peace walk "to draw attention to the nuclear dangers that continue to threaten our sacred planet and the community of life."
Ace of Wands and Ace of Pentacles
Am I dreaming? A thunderstorm in February! YAY! My dreams, sweet dreams! Goodnight. . .
Seven of Cups
Well, not quite, but almost a ten of swords moment. . .I'm helping out a friend in Northern Iowa and planning to leave for our three hour trip back home tomorrow morning. This evening after a long day of sloshing over the river and through the mud, we crossed the bridge out to dinner and came back exhausted. He went to bed, and I sat at my computer watching Zoe Keating videos on Youtube waiting for the appointed time to call my partner. Thank God we don't have to go back into that town again.
Actually, it's not so much the town itself but the fact that I'm using a stick-shift car and have very little eye-hand-foot coordination combined with many stops and turns. Just as the anointed time arrived to call my partner before heading off to bed myself, David came out of his bedroom frantically exuding “I lost my wallet! I can't find my wallet! Where did I put my wallet!”
This happens frequently with his dementia: My job is to help prevent instances such as these. Okay, okay, okay, I was pretty irritated “why now”. As he fumbled through his belongings, I begrudgingly called the restaurant, who did have a wallet. When I asked them to open it up - in the hopes that it wasn't his (so that we wouldn't have to twist and turn back out there) - the kind waitress informed me that the wallet belonged to a person by the name of. . .wait for it. Wait for it-wait for it. . .“Kelley Louise Kolberg”-yours truly.
While closing, the waitress happened to look down and see it in the booth. At that moment my friend exclaimed: “I found my wallet,” which was laying on the table beside his computer the whole time. I had no idea I had even lost my wallet, and the restaurant only opens for dinner! Thank you higher spirits, and thank you David for listening to them!
Ten of Swords
What a Magical week! I've recently joined a Tarot Creator's group on Facebook and have been made an honorary Canadian! What a blessing :-). More than that, the incredible images inspired me to stretch my own a bit further, and I recreated the Magician in record time! That card has a been begging me to edit it for months now, and I finally waved that wand!
The Magician
Cheryl from Tarot Canada posted a very powerful image regarding the effects from the Chernobyl nuclear accident. The image brought back feelings I experienced while witnessing the effects of misused nuclearism here in the United States. Much of what I saw from walking over 800-miles through the downwinded areas of the Nevada Test site through organizations such as Nevada Desert Experience and Family Spirit Walk for Mother Earth is much too difficult to even type. However, it's much easier for me to express my experience in an image.
Thanks to sisters Kaaren and Robin Ray, (S.)Paz Tikkun Cruiser and as always, Ming for shining their light for all to see!
Five of Pentacles
I took my friend David B. Heusinkveld to McGregor, IA so that he could photograph some winter scenes. The full moon in Pisces was breathtakingly beautiful. David, like my niece, is one of the most loving people I know. He is also quite the dreamer. So given the circumstances, I couldn't resist but to portray him as the King of Cups!
King of Cups
I initially created the King of Wands card with my dad as the model. However, to be quite frank, I had difficulty with his face-much. My partner's step-father came down from Northern Minnesota to visit this past weekend. We spent a lot of time together telling and listening to each others history. While he was speaking, I went into a trance-like state. Right before my eyes, my Grandfather appeared, and so did the king of wands. . .as the king gets older, he gets wiser and gentler too!
King of Wands
My friend Nancy invited me to a quilting convention at Prairie Woods, a Franciscan Retreat Center focused on ecology and spirituality located in Hiawatha, Iowa. Quilting is defined as “a sewing method done to join two or more layers of material together to make a thicker material.”
The three of pentacles is about just that: joining two or more together to make a stronger structure. Each person at this convention applied herself as a separate individual working harmoniously as a whole to gracefully create a beautiful piece of art. Women worked along side one another, laughing, sharing, sewing glorious patterns of color together - telling their stories. And there were many stories. The stories these women shared about each quilt moved me to tears. Most quilts were for and about someone other than the quilter, who had in some cases worked for years on the quilt.
While at the convention, I felt a deep sense of spirituality through a mundane task as pulling a needle and thread. The experience led me to begin the process of creating the three of pentacles.
Three of Pentacles
Happy New Year, Everyone! I thought the eight of cups would be a great card to exit 2011 and bring in 2012. My friend Mark "Creekwater" modeled for the Eight of cups. He is a "peacewalker" who describes himself as "houseless by choice." Professor Creekwater started a walk across America this winter (starting from Oakland, Ca) to support the Occupy Movement. Currently he's in Phoenix Arizona, and I just got word that he has a bus ticket to Albuquerque, NM, where he will join up with my dear friends at the Albuquerque Catholic Worker House (please see Card II The High Priestess and Card VII The Chariot for my Catholic Worker images). Here's to you Creekwater! Best Wishes on your incredible journey!
Eight of Cups
It only gets brighter from here. Happy Holidays. Today I'd like to share the Ace of Pentacles, representing new beginnings. In honor of the season, I'd like to wish everyone good fortune, prosperity, comfort and joy!
Ace of Pentacles
The five of swords and the longest night of the year. Tarot cards have a tendency to work on me as I work on them, but none more so than the five of swords. For me, this is one of the most difficult cards in the deck. Actually, I think it IS the most difficult card in the deck, representing a no win situation along with the feeling of utter defeat.
Most of the time the five of swords appears when we compromise our integrity in some way, as in an angry moment: perhaps damaging words get uttered resulting in hurt and pain. Sometimes it appears after a fallback when trying to overcome an addiction. As a personal example, I've given up processed sugar for the last two months, and this weekend went all out on the cookies and candy.
Within the next couple days, I went on an all out rampage on my partner (my very understanding partner) and a man I admire, and this is the first time I have been physically ill for as long as I can remember. Truly a dark night of the soul. It is important to remember the power of forgiveness towards ourselves and others and that it only gets brighter from here.
Five of Swords
And now, the Queen of Wands, AKA my twin sister Kimmy. Oh Queen, oh Queen divine.
Queen of Wands
UPDATE - on January 6th, I removed this image for an updated version! Santa Claus doesn't like the heat!
King of Wands
I celebrated my 40th birthday on December 4th along with my twin sister, Kim! In honor of our birthday, I'm featuring Kim as the Queen of Wands. Actually, my family is full of fire signs. Kim and I were born under Sagittarius, my dad was born under Aries, and my mom and niece are Leos. So, I'm working on three cards simultaneously: Queen of Wands (with a December twist), King of Wands and Knight of Wands! I'll post as I finish them!
26 Nov 2011And now for Lady Queen Pamela of Pentacles. My partner bought me Photoshop for my birthday and gave it to me on Thanksgiving! What a pleasant surprise! I feel so grateful! The Queen of Pentacles is about physical abundance, good health, magic surrounding us and love for the world and life. I give thanks! Update: This is a version which no longer exists. Now, Queen Pamela has a beautiful arm and hand in place of the one which flies off into the ether, and a dove emerges from that hand.
Queen of Pentacles
I'm very introverted and not much of a solicitor, so when a friend of mine asked me to join up with her at a local cafe to advertise our cards, I uhhh-ohkay suppose and conjured up the guts to go from table to table. I approached the first person just outside the meeting room. As I explained "artist..cards...taro#$%$---," she grabbed the cross from her neck, put it in front of my face and exclaimed “I'm Christian!”
Wow--me too, at least I try to be slammed down with: “Not THAT KIND of Christian; I know what you do,” as she moved to the table across the room as far away from me as she could get--maybe she saw a ghost!
On to the next table. A man from Eritrea said: “Cards? Cards? You make cards?” When I showed him my cards, he asked me how much I would charge to make him one. Well, I've already made them. He came back with a blueprint of a partially finished church; the funds ran out for completion. Would I conjure up a design to help fund-raise for this church. I opened the card he handed me:
“. . .on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.” The other card states: “I thank God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ.”
The juxtaposition of these interactions astounded me! So, with that, I thought I'd share the Ace of cups, which includes a picture of dove descending from heaven.
I started this card on October 22nd, 2011 in honor of my dear friend, Richard Stevens, a theologian who passed away the day before. His memorial service was Saturday. I used the three of swords (grief) to make the ace of cups (blessings, hope and new joy). Biddy Tarot says that the Ace of Cups signifies "spiritual energy and influence." I believe the card signifies love at its essence, the kind Richard emanated. I hope he likes it, and I hope he gets a chuckle pondering upon what kind of Christian I am!
Ace of Cups
Happy 11-11-11! And Happy Birthday to my sister Kerri if she sees this! While asking for input on the four of swords, a friend of mine told me that some people may not appreciate the nudity and that I may want to cover the breasts. I deliberated on that for a little bit, but just a little bit, well actually probably less than a split second. The four of swords lies in between two difficult cards: the three of swords and the five of swords.
The three of swords expresses a painful experience and going deep into that experience. Now the five of swords (at least for me) seems even more painful, because it comes from a conflict ridden place, sometimes even feeling like harm for harms sake.
And then there's the four of swords smack in between. The four of swords is that period of rest and regrouping after the heartache of the three of swords. It's a time to rebalance ourselves in order to stabilize and reevaluate thoughts. After the solace from rest has taken place, it's easier to cooperate with others and be more sympathetic to the plight of others as well. I finished this card last night.
For me it's a very vulnerable place. Nudity is an expression of that vulnerability. It's like preparing for something that produces anxiety and then having a dream that you're running through the streets naked in front of jeering and cheering crowds. Now true, fours represent stability and structure, implying safety, but safety does not equal comfort. The nudity may feel uncomfortable, but it's safe. There's also a sense of withdrawal in the four of swords, that's why the two people are separated, connected, but within their safety zone, retreating.
On a personal note, my partner and I have been cycling back and forth between the three, four and five of swords of late (that's us in the picture). If you look closely at the positioning of the exposed breasts, perhaps you can imagine a lemniscate (infinity symbol). In tarot, this symbol shows up in The Magician, Strength and in the two of pentacles.
These cards for me are all healing cards, drawing from a higher source. The magician pulls energy from the cosmos, strength helps with fortitude to heal and the two of pentacles brings flexibility, joy and laughter.
The four of swords is a healing card, so I've incorporated an
imaginary lemniscate to join with the aforementioned cards, and to
express the cycle of three, four and five of swords until true healing
takes place to move on! So, the nudity will remain!
Four of Swords
I have a few more cards to share with you, and I hope to get them up this week. For now, I'm almost finished with the Queen of Pentacles, but she may change completely while I continue to work with her this evening! While walking Pazzy this morning, I noticed that most of the leaves have blown off of the trees-they're gorgeous-the Queen of Pentacles has just got to have some autumness in her, so that's where I'm at now.
6 Nov 2011I decided to take a break from the five of swords and start a new path with the page of cups today.
I started this card while I was working on the Star this past summer. I usually produce many versions. I liked the start of this, but I didn't know where to go with it. I looked back on it and said "page of cups!" I'm in a dreamy sort of mood, and we're at the beginning of a water sign with scorpio, so I thought this was perfect. The page of cups for me is about opening up emotionally and being a good listener and friend, which seems like a place I would like to be. I initially planned to use my niece Kailee for this card, as she's such a sweet-hearted kind little dreamer, but well, she's taurus, not to mention that my sister's not too keen on tarot - so we'll just say Kailee-girl's the inspiration! I hope you like this card. . .
Page of Cups
And, the four of swords also prepares for that dreaded five. . .next to come!
Four of Swords
Last February, my partner and I spoke some unkind words to one another. More than that. I found myself slip-sliding in the snow at about 3:00am. All I could think about was the three of Swords. So I came home and created a drawing to help cope with my feelings. This became my three of swords card for Quel Tarot. I felt like crying a river of tears, from sadness to joy and back again! In tarot, the three of swords is a beautiful card. We release our pain by entering into it. Tears cleanse, leading to love and understanding. I've been finding myself cycling between the three of swords, four of swords and five of swords lately. The four of swords is that period of rest and regrouping after the heartache of the three of swords. It's a time to rebalance ourselves in order to stabilize and reevaluate thoughts. After the solace from rest has taken place, it's easier to cooperate with others and be more sympathetic to the plight of others as well. I finished this card last night.
Three of Swords
I credit King Miya, aka the King of Swords, as the start of Quel Tarot. This was the first card I drew in order to cope with my feelings regarding Miya's death on Dec 3, 2008 from cancer. I finished it in June, 2009. Today marked the 20th anniversary of a devastating shooting at the University of Iowa campus. The shooting left Miya quadriplegic. Miya was able to handle whatever difficulties or challenges that came her way in stride. She was analytical, full of confidence, grace and hope as she balanced her sword with ease. I drew her cape blue to present a sense of coolness and calmness. Blues for me represent peace of mind and spiritual attainment. Miya rose above circumstances and I hope that she has that peace of mind wherever she is.
King of Swords
